why cant you surf microwaves
because theyre too small
THIS TOOK ME LITERALLY 5 FUCKING MINUTES TO GET
(via maidoftimemegido)
There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy’s father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.
On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!
Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his temper, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.
It wasn’t long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn’t lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his father.
Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.
Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
“You have done very well, my son,” he smiled, “but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”
The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak.
“When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will still be there.”
(via equivalent-exchange)
we have literally created our own dialogue? language? here on tumblr and i think that is the most amazing thing ever
please disregard my shitty editing skillsno listen this is actually really amazing because this is a real thing. i think this counts as a pidgin language. a pidgin language is basically a changed, simplified version of a language. you can change the spellings of words, pronunciation, grammar rules, or even make up new words. i think. i’d have to research it a bit more to be sure but i’m 90% sure this is right. if its not a pidgin language, then its a lingua franca but thats more used for trade and stuff like that. but still a new language. so yes, we’ve created our own language. we’ve changed the whole sentence structure. we can trail off sentences, say things like “i just cant”, and use words like ship, OTP, fic, fandom, feels, and ship names and everyone will understand what you’re saying. the part that i love most is how people go “OMGH IM CRIIY NIG SOIOO HARD” and understand each other. for example “IM LIUA GHMNIG”. that one was incredibly easy, but if you knew that said “I’m laughing”, congratulations. You speak a pidgin language. we can even say stuff like “Does anyone know of a Johnlock fic, at least 20k words, not a WIP, with no OCs, and is Post-Reichenbach? Or just a Destiel PWP would be great.” To someone not on tumblr, that wouldn’t make any sense. but you understood, didn’t you? One characteristic of a pidgin language is that you have to learn it like a second language. Another characteristic is that it is frequently changing. tumblr goes through many trends with how we talk. if i remember correctly, when i first made an account about two years ago, talking like this wasn’t quite as common. also, that thing of suddenly capitalizing your sentence is fairly recent. you know, when people go “the new epISODE IS TOMORROW”. Like one of the people up there said, all of this is awesome because how else do you easily show emotion and tone over the internet? we’ve even made a whole sense of humour that most people here share in. There’s so much more that I could talk about with this, but i’m tired and i may be entirely wrong about everything. but yes. people on the fandom side of tumblr who speak like this are speaking a new language
I now declare that saying “I speak tumblr” is acceptable when being asked what languages you know
wait a second…did we make newspeak a thing?
(via maidoftimemegido)
xxic:
Me: Okay so if orientation is a choice, choose to be gay, right now.
Him: No.
Me: Why not?
Him: Because I don’t find men attractive
Me: So CHOOSE to find them attractive
Him: ……. I can’t.
Me: Sorry, WHAT was that? You CAN’T????
stOP
THIS IS THE BEST ARGUMENT TOWARDS THIS EVER OMFLKRFJHELKFJHQWKJDHQEFKJHQFKJWEHFKWDJ;lejf;WELFJLWEFJKWEFJWEK
(via equivalent-exchange)
ACCIDENTALLY IGNORING A FRIEND BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY SPEND SOME TIME AWAY FROM A COMPUTER FOR ONCE
MORE LIKE
(via equivalent-exchange)
If you respect a woman less because you’ve seen her naked or were lucky enough to have sex with her, you deseve to tread on only lego for the rest of your stupid life.
(via equivalent-exchange)
who does not like the term ‘Cumberbitches’
Please reblog if you’re a “CumberCollective’ out of respect for this wonderful man
He said “Cumbercollective” again on the daily show this morning.
I can take a hint, darling.I think the Cumbercollective is really gonna stick now! ^^
(via equivalent-exchange)
i hate those days where you have so much stuff/hw/projects due the next day that you just freeze up and go on the internet until 9pm as an attempt to escape the stress
(via equivalent-exchange)
sometimes i feel like people with a whole lot of followers see a good post by someone without a whole lot of followers and go
i’m gonna make you famous
(via equivalent-exchange)