charmeleons:

reasons why you should date me

  • we can do the pillow fort
  • share an ENTIRE pizza
  • ((like a whole pizza just for us wow))
  • ???????
  • mario kart

thekatitube:

DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY

cunt-candle:

i cant tell if im really nice but secretly an asshole or an asshole but secretly really nice

samssamulet:

the last one though lol

(Source: amroyounes)

worldpeaces:

do you ever just want to hold someone in your arms for about 37 years

uu-cest:

i forgot what kissing feels like quick someone remind me 

REBLOG | 6 days ago | 9
tags: #< 3

leoat:

1396514009639.gif

pornstarwars:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I’d give up my wifi,

To spend time with you

shesthedevil-indisguise:

unlucid:

nocive:

meanwhile in Afghanistan

never gets old

The k

llcooljofficial:

one time in 7th grade everyone in my class got really quiet so i said “dildo” just to see the ridiculous reaction since i knew how immature 7th graders were

for 30 minutes, there was an uncontrollable uproar of laughter and someone fell and hit their head on a chair and had to go to the nurse

because i said dildo.

lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks:

mahimahi713:

lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks:

mahimahi713:

the-winchesters-creed:

ayellowstateofmind:

Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. 

It would instantly cauterize the would, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.

UM. I WOULD NOT BE INTERESTED IN THE STABBY STABBING OF PEOPLE, BUT RATHER WHAT IT IS BEING USED FOR IN THE GIF. FOR THE SLICEY SLICEY AND TOASTY TOASTY OF A LOAF OF BREAD AT THE SAME DAMN TIME.

it’s a baby lightsaber

CAN I USE IT AS A DILDO?

I would not recommend it

(Source: picapixels)

ask-blood-soaked-pancakes:

the-ackerman-queen:

chrysalisgrey:

do you bite your thumb at us sir

i do bite my thumb sir

do you bite your thumb at us sir

no sir i do not bite my thumb at you sir but i bite my thumb sir

image

Attack On Shakespeare 

image

I’m sorry, but it had to be saved.

im gonna start working on this in 10 minutes no exceptions
—me fucking lying to myself (via youtubeofficial)

(Source: astrodidact)

bowtied:

digimage:

lizawithazed:

I hold you in high esteem if you get this joke.

I understand this reference

Oh! Bird puns!

Alright, alright, going with the crow theme — did you know, the only real difference between crows and ravens is that crows have five pinion feathers, and that ravens only have four.

So the difference between a crow and a raven? Well, that’s a matter of…..

image

….a pinion.

(Source: paronomaniac)